The Most Important Step to Hiring a Caregiver
Hiring a caregiver is like casting an actor in a movie - there are many steps and when you get it right you just "know." For both, the final step of a "paid trial" seems to be the most important!
This past week my husband was out of town so I handled all that goes on with our 3 kids (ages 5, 8, and 10) without his help – dropping off at two different schools across town each morning, picking them up at school and shuttling them to their after school activities, helping all three with their homework, making all the meals (and remaking them when they’d protest), packing their bags, cleaning up, and of course, the varied bedtime routines… When my husband is in town he helps with some of those duties (especially the morning routine and we split the drop offs), but he cannot regularly help in the afternoon and evening because of work. So, I am grateful that for three afternoons a week I have a woman help me with childcare and driving because without her help I could never do all those daily tasks!
Ever since my 10-year-old was born we’ve had childcare help of some sort. Our extended families don’t live in town so they’re not able to do any childcare. Instead, we’ve had to source, interview, and hire every person who has taken care of our kids while we’re working or when we travel or to help us with the everyday tasks. We’ve been blessed with wonderful, loving caregivers who, even if they are no longer helping us, are still part of our family and we are in great touch with them. We’ve also had some false starts or some caregivers that proved to not be the best fit for our family.
As I look back at the caregivers we’ve had help us, I realize that the part of the interview process that was the most crucial to predicting a caregiver’s success was a “paid trial.” When I think about what inspired me to institute a paid trial into our interview process, I realized that I was looking at hiring a caregiver much like casting an actor in a movie. And, often the final step to hiring an actor and officially casting them is a “chemistry test,” so a paid trial was a natural addition to our process.
When you’re making a movie, a major part of the process - and of making a successful film - is casting the best actors for the roles. Many things come into play when deciding whom to cast in a movie including who is available, who has a great audition, who fits the part as described in the screenplay, and then ultimately who has the best chemistry fit with the other actors onscreen.
The process for casting actors is one that takes a lot of time and attention. There is an entire department at most studios that is in charge of casting, and there are external casting directors who are hired for each movie, to make sure the movie is getting the best actors for the roles.
Unless the movie is going to cast a major movie star, there is a process that the casting department usually follows. Actors are pitched to the casting department and the casting directors review their resume, often watch their previous work, and ask the movie’s director if they’ve ever worked with them before. Then, once it seems like a good fit, actors will be called in for a “reading” which is basically an interview, plus they will have prepared a scene from the movie that they perform and is filmed by the casting department to show to the movie’s director.
After that reading, if it is not clear whom to hire, then a few finalists are chosen and the process of a “chemistry read” begins. This usually happens when you have a few finalists and need to figure out who the best matches are for romantic relationships, friendships, family members, etc. The casting director will make “test deals” with each actor before this chemistry read. A test deal means that the actor’s agents will agree with the casting director about all parts of the actor’s pay and other details if that actor is hired after the test. The actor agrees to be put into a test deal for a certain amount of time so that the movie’s director and the studio can make a decision without worrying that the actor will take another movie role while they’re deciding. Once the test deals are in place, the actors will be put into wardrobe for the characters and the director will direct them each in scenes apart and together. Then those scenes will be shown to the movie’s producers and studio executives in a movie theater on the studio lot. It is through those readings that the final actors will be chosen, and the movie will then be cast and ready to get filming!
In a family’s world there are many different childcare needs as children grow up. Often, a family will need to hire a caregiver for their children – a professional nanny, a once in a while sitter, etc. – and that there is much thought that goes into hiring someone to take care of your kids.
These are some key ideas to keep in mind when hiring a caregiver:
Sourcing Candidates: Much like how a studio hires a casting company and also has an internal casting department casting a wide net when looking for actors, spread the word that you’re looking for help! Reach out to friends and any groups of people (parenting groups you’re attending) who may have personal referrals, post online in different places (I like NannyLane which is free to use and SitterCity which costs money to post), consider hiring a nanny agent if you have specific needs, and constantly remind people that you’re looking.
Interviews: A studio will have actors audition - they’ll read a part of the movie and film them to show how they’d do in the role. For a caregiver, invite them over and talk with them for a while, and if you have a baby and feel comfortable, let them hold your baby and see how that feels – your parental animal instincts will come out! If your child is older and home, you can ask them to say hello and see how that feels. Also, I’ve found that during this step, giving the candidate a tour of your home to see how I feel with them in my space, and to listen to what questions they ask, helps me make a decision.
References: Casting directors always find out if directors have previously worked with an actor to see if that actor can provide the performance needed for the role. With hiring a caregiver, once you’ve done the interview and have a few finalists, you should call their references and see how you feel about what they tell you.
Chemistry Test: This is usually the final part to hiring an actor, and it can be crucial to do if a director cannot choose between finalists. The exciting thing about this step is that when the actors are on screen in the test, it is so clear which one should be hired – this step leaves nothing in a gray area and it’s such a relief to know that all the work that lead to here worked! For the caregiver “chemistry test,” set up an agreement ahead of time so that in the event that it goes well, it’s a simple step to hire the person. An agreement with a sitter is simply what the hourly rate is, and for a permanent caregiver you’ll need to also figure out hours, duties, vacation and sick policies, etc. Once that is all set you should invite them to do a “paid trial” for at least 3 hours when the kids are awake. You will pay them the agreed upon hourly rate and they will come over and play with your kids and be with your family for those 3 hours. Be there guiding them at first and then step away into another room and listen in. Take this time to feel out how it would be to have them alone with your kids, and really really observe how your kids interact with them. Kids can’t articulate complicated feelings about a caregiver’s match but you will know by how your kids act around a caregiver whether or not it is a good fit. Kids have an amazing energy read of other people and often sense what we as adults might ignore, and since you want them comfortable with this person when you aren’t available, this is extremely important! After this step, if it goes well then it’s an easy hire since you have an agreement all set, and if you aren’t going to hire them then it’s simpler to say it wasn’t a good fit than if you’d already hired them because you’d made it clear it was a trial. Also, if you aren’t sure after those 3 hours, then consider doing a 2 week trial with them. Then you’ll really know if it’s a fit or not!
I do a paid trial with permanent caregivers and with sitters who I call on an as-needed basis. I have found that it’s important to see how they connect with my kids - and with me - no matter how infrequently they’ll be babysitting.
Also, this process isn’t perfect – for both hiring caregivers and for casting movies. Did you know that Michael J. Fox wasn’t originally hired for Back to the Future? They filmed the movie for a month with Eric Stoltz before realizing that he wasn’t a good fit for the main role so they recast Michael J. Fox in the role and had to reshoot all the scenes they’d already shot! So, if you realize a few weeks or months after hiring a caregiver that it isn’t the right fit, it’s okay if you need to do what’s best for your family and “recast” the caregiver role in your home.
Overall, I have found that this paid trial step has really helped me when figuring out the best person to help my family. I hope that adding this to your caregiver hiring process helps you too!